What is Complex Trauma?
Trauma doesn’t have to be a near death experience or losing a loved one. Complex trauma is the repeated, sometimes, even low-key experience, that corrodes our self-image, our view of the world and our sense of safety. I call it death by a thousand cuts.
What could complex trauma look like?
Growing up, it often felt like nothing was ever quite good enough. There was always a way it could have been done better.
Rules mattered more than feelings. Big emotions were a problem, and decisions weren't really yours until someone else approved them. Being "good" was how you earned a place. Showing emotion got you labeled overly sensitive.
Over time, that experience turns into a painful belief: a "bad" thought, emotion or mistake must mean you're a “bad” person.
Many capable, successful people carry this quietly. From the outside, life looks fine. On the inside, there's constant worry about getting it wrong or letting someone down.
What impact could complex trauma have on you? You may experience the following.
Love is something you may struggle to feel and show. The words don't come out right, or closeness itself feels uncomfortable, so you keep a little distance, even from the people who matter most.
Decisions come with doubt. Before choosing anything, there's a worry about being questioned or told it was the wrong call. And no matter how much gets achieved, a quiet voice insists it's all a fluke and that someone is about to find out.
There’s always someone's expectations to manage. Meeting them becomes a full-time job, and the cost is usually paid in rest, health, and peace of mind.
From the outside, you look steady and accomplished. On the inside, it's exhausting.
How can I help you with this?
These beliefs we have about ourselves and the world were learned, so they can be unlearned. I help people trust their own minds, see feelings as useful information, and realize they were never "bad" to begin with.
First, we will work together to build your skill set to manage the emotional distress and impulsive (sometimes overcontrolled) behaviors you are currently experiencing.
Then, the treatment we will undertake will help you confront the avoidance that has been keeping your life smaller and gain different perspectives and strength to move past the constrained lifestyle. We won’t stop at knowing, we will work on
If you would like to learn more about the evidence-based treatment modalities, here is more information on DBT, PE and EMDR.